Av: Ashley Brown

Oppdatert februar 11, 2020

Medisinsk Vurdert Av: Karen Devlin, LPC

Doyoususpectyouorsomeoneyouknowmaybeengaginginindulgentparenting?Areyouworriedthatindulgentparentingmaybeharmfultoyourchildorsomeoneelse er?Youshouldbe.

Ifyouarelikemanyparents,youprobablywonderwhatthebestwaytoparentyourchildrenis.Maybeyou’veevenwonderedifthereareknowntechniquesthatdoordon’tworkwhenitcomestoraisingwell-adjustedhumanbeings.,Thetruthisthattherearenearlyasmanyparentingstrategiesasthereareparents,andthere’sconflictingadviceonwhatworksbest.However,thereareafewestablishedcategoriesofparentingbehavior,andresearchhasshownthatsomestylesarebetterthanothers.

That’swhywe’veuncoveredallthelatestresearchaboutindulgentparenting,andwhatwediscoveredisthatit’soneoftheworstthingsyoucandoforyourchild.

Overrasket?

Thenyoushouldreadontofindoutthedetailsofwhatindulgentparentingmeansandwhyit’sadangertochildren’sdevelopment.,

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Source:pexels.com

WhatIsIndulgentParenting?

La’sstartwithtalkingaboutparentingstyles.Parentingstyleisacategoryusedbypsychologiststoanalyzevariouswaysofraisingchildrenandtheresultsofthosemethods.,Thereareseveraldifferentstandardparentingstyles,whicharemostcommonlydividedintofourdifferentstyles.

Eachparentingstyleismadeupofasetofpractices.Ifthemajorityofyourparentingpracticesfallintoaparticularstyle,thenyoucouldsaythatistheparentingstyleyouusemostoften.Youdon’tnecessarilyneedtofolloweverypracticeassociatedwithaparticularstyletoassociatewiththatparentingstyle.Selvfølgelig,eachparentraisestheirchildrenslightlydifferentfromothers.Derfor,thesestylesandpracticescanhavemanyvariations.,

Thefourcommonlynamedstylesare:

  • Authoritarianparenting
  • Authoritativeparenting
  • Uninvolvedparenting
  • Overbærende/permissiveparenting

Keepinmindthatevenifyouleantowardsonestyle,youmaynotalwaysactlikethatstyle.Parentscansometimesswitchbetweenstylesdependingonfactors,likehowtiredtheyare,ortheirtolerancelevelsforcertainbehaviors,aswellasotherfactors.

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PermissiveParenting

Indulgentparentingisalsoknownaspermissiveparenting.,Inthisparentingstyle,theparentrarelyenforcesanyrulesandtendstoletchildrenacthowevertheywant.Theseparentsoftenseemmorelikefriendswiththeirkids,ratherthanparents.

Indulgentparentsareoftenhighlyresponsivetotheirchildren,whichdistinguishesthemfromuninvolvedparents.It’snotthatindulgentparentsareignoringtheirchildren;theysimplyallowthemtogetawaywithalot.

Indulgentparentsprobablyfeellikereallygoodparents.Theylovetheirkidsandwantthemtobehappy.,Whattheymaynotrealizeisthattheirlowexpectationsfortheirkidstranslatetothekidsthemselves,resultinginchildren(andfutureadults)withlowexpectationsforthemselves.

ExamplesOfIndulgentParenting

Farao,youhaveageneralideaofwhatindulgentparentingentails.Herearesomespecificbehaviorsassociatedwithindulgentparenting.

sbehavior Nospecificrulesareestablishedforchildren’. Rulesareinconsistentandsituational,oronlyupheldwhentheparentistiredorsomeotherarbitraryreason.,

  • Theparentislovingandnurturingbutmayoverpraisethechild,makingitdifficultforthechildtounderstandwhichbehaviorsaregoodorexceedingexpectations. sfriend Theparentactsliketheirchild’. Parentsbribethechildwithgifts,leker,orfoodtogetthemtobehaveratherthanestablishingexpectations.
  • Thechildisgivenlittlestructureorschedule,lackingadailyroutineordailyexpectationsforage-appropriateresponsibilities.
  • Theparentsputthepriorityofgivingthechildfreedomoverteachingresponsibility.,

  • Theparentsasktheirchildrenforanopiniononmajordecisions,ratherthanhelpingthechildtocopewithdecisionsthataremadebytheadults.
  • Thechildrarelyfacesanyconsequencesenforcedbytheparents.

    ResultsOfIndulgentParenting

    Manyissuesarisefromindulgentparentingbecausechildrenarenotpreparedtomakegooddecisionsforthemselves.Theyneedparentstointerveneattimesandsetrules.Theseconsequencesarenotjustpsychologicaleither.Childrenofindulgentparentsaremorelikelytohaveaslewofhealthproblemsbecausetheparentsdonotenforcehygieneorhealthyhabits.,

    Rett

    Lifeissuchthatwedon’talwaysgetwhatwewant.Imidlertid,indulgentparentswilltrytogivetheirchildrenalltheyneedorwant,thinkingtheyarebeingsupportive.Theproblemwiththisisitsetsupafalserealityforthechild,goingforwardinlife.Theyexpectthattheywillalwayshaveeveryneedandwantmet,withoutanyeffortontheirpart.

    Youmaynotwantyourchildtosufferbyfeelingadesirethatgoesunfulfilled,butthisisanimportantlessonforlife.

    Additionally,childrenwhoarepraisedtoooftenforminorachievementsfeelliketheydeservepraiseforverylittleeffort.,Thisresultsinadultswhoputintheminimaleffortandcomplainwhentheydon’tgettheresultstheywant.Theymayblameothersfortheirproblems,despiteputtingintheneededenergytosolvetheirproblems.

    PoorImpulseControl

    Youngchildrenarenotyetcapableofsettingboundariesonhowtheyusetheirtimeorhowmuchofafavoritethingtheyindulgein.Parentswhosetboundariesteachtheirchildrenself-discipline,sothatthechildcaneventuallymakegooddecisionsabouttimemanagementandlimitingthemselveswithbehaviors,likescreentimeoreatingjunkfood.,

    Sincethesechildrenaregivennoexpectations,theyarealsomorelikelytoengageinriskybehaviors,includingunderagedrinkinganddruguse.Theyhavenofearoftheirparentsdiscipliningthemforsuchbehaviors.

    Theyarealsomorelikelytohaveconductissuesatschool.Thereasonforthisisthelackofguidanceandstructureathome.Theyareunaccustomedtolisteningtoanadultinauthority.Thatmakesitdifficultforthemtofollowschoolrulesbecausetheybecomeresentfulofthesituationatschool.,

    Withschoolbehaviors,inparticular,thechildmayseemlikeastudentwhoiseagertopleasemostofthetimeandonlyhasdisciplineissueswhenaparticularruleaggravatesthechild.That’stypicalbecausetheindulgentparentshavemadethechildaccustomedtobeingoftenpraised,andthechildwillseekthisbehaviorfromteachersandotheradults,behavingaslongasitisconvenient.

    Thefurtherresultofthisisyourchildgrowingintoanadultwithcontinuedunhealthyhabitsandpoormotivationtodowellatworkorotherpriorities.Thiscanleadtoobesityandpoorhealth,aswellasapoorfinancialoutlook.,

    Lurer på Om Effekten av Ettergivende Foreldre?

    En Bord-Sertifisert Terapeut Kan Hjelpe. Snakk med En Foreldre Ekspert på Nettet Nå.

    Source:pexels.com

    TheDifficultyWithADelayOfGratification

    Relatedtoentitlementbehaviorisadifficultywithadelayofgratification.Delayinggratificationisanecessaryskill.It’srequiredforactivitieslikesavingmoneyforaparticularexpenseorstayinginshapebyfollowinggoodeatinghabitsandexercisingregularly.Youdonotgetafitbodyinstantly.Moreover,youcannotaffordeverythingwithoutsavingsometimes.,Whenyougeteverythingyouwantexactlywhenyouwantit,youdonotlearnthisskill,andyourqualityoflifesuffers.

    ImpulsiveAngerAndFrustration

    Thesechildrencanbecomeadultsthatareaggressiveandlackanormalamountofemotionalunderstandingwhendealingwithothers.Theyhaven’tlearnedtocontroltheiremotionsinproductivewaysbecausetheyareusedtogettingwhatevertheywant.Dessverre,interactingwiththeadultworldrequirescompromisingwithothersandnotalwaysgettingyourway.Thatmakesadultrelationshipsandcareerachievementsdifficultforthem.,

    DifficultyHandlingMoney

    Inadditiontohavingahardtimesucceedingfinancially,childrenofindulgentparentsalsohaveahardtimeholdingontomoneyoncetheygetit.Theirimpulsivenessmakesthempronetospendingmoneyassoonastheyhaveany.Thissetsthemupforfuturefinancialdifficulties.

    – Alder-InappropriateReactions(LesserMaturityComparedToPeers)

    Childrenwhoareentitledandgetwhattheywantallthetimearealsomorelikelytothrowtantrumsbeyondtheusualageforsuchbehavior.Theyarelikelytobelazierthanotherchildrentheirage,doingonlythethingsthatinterestthemratherthantakingresponsibilityforthethingstheyneedtodo.,Det’seasytoseehowthiscausestroubleinadulthood.Weallhavemanyresponsibilitiesthatwedon’tnecessarilywanttodo,butmust.

    Intheshort sikt,thisisseeninschoolwork.Thechildrenofindulgentparentsaremorelikelytoprocrastinateonhomeworkandschoolprojects.Theydon’tfeellikedoingthework,sotheyputitoff,andtheirgradessuffer.

    LowSelf-Esteem

    Itmayseemlikechildrenwhoarelovedandgeteverythingtheywantshouldfeelgoodaboutthemselves.Whattendstohappenisthattheyneverdeveloptheskillstohandleproblems,andwhentheyreachanagewheretheyneedtodothingsontheirown,theyhavenoideahowto.,Theyhavenointernalmotivationtosucceed.Theyendupanxiousandunabletomeetthedemandsofbeinganadult.Theymayevenfeelunprepared.

    Otherchildren,bycontrast,havehadtoworkthroughstruggles.Theylearnmotivationandself-bestemmelse.Thisispreciselywhatbuildsself-tillit.Thosechildrenlearnthattheyarecapableandcanovercomeobstacles.

    ComparingOtherParentingStyles

    Her’sthebigproblemwithindulgentparenting.Bynotcreatingandenforcingrules,youarenotteachingyourchildbasiccopingskills.Weallhavetofollowtherulesandaccepttheconsequencesofouractions.

    Otherparentingstyleshavedifferentresults.,Authoritarianparentingalsodoesnotteachchildrentocopewithadulthood,butfordifferentreasons.Theauthoritarianparenthasstrictrules,tothepointthatchildrenneverlearntomakeanydecisionsforthemselves.Theirchildrenmayfearpunishment,buttheydonotlearntomakebetterchoicesfromtheirmistakes.Childrenmayevencopewiththeauthoritarianparentingstylebybecomingexcellentliarstoavoidpunishments.

    Uninvolvedorneglectfulparentingiswhentheparentspaylittletonoattentiontothechild.Therearenorulesbecausetheparentisnotpayingattentiontowhatthekidisdoinganyway.,Unlikeindulgentparenting,thesechildrengetneitherrulesnorlovingattention.Theyareontheirowntonavigatechildhoodandlife.Thesechildrentendtohavelow-selvfølelse,pooracademicperformance,andareunhappy.

    til Slutt,thereisauthoritativeparenting.Thisisnotthesameasauthoritarianparenting.Authoritativeparentingisthebeststyleforraisingwell-developed,happychildrenwithagoodsenseofboundaries.

    Authoritativeparentsputeffortintocreatingalovingrelationshipwiththeirchildren,aswellasestablishingrulesandexpectations.Theyexplainthereasonsbehindtheirrulesratherthanjustexpectingobedience.,Theyallowtheirchildrentohaveopinions,buttheydon’tnecessarilygiveintotheirchildrenafterlisteningtotheirpointofview.

    Someofthebenefitsofauthoritativeparentingarewell-adjustedkidsandalovingrelationshipbetweenyouandyourchildren.Thesebenefitshappenbecausethisparentingstyleiswellbalanced.Whileyoumaydisciplineyourkids,youcanalsoexplaintothemwhytheyarebeingdisciplined.Additionally,thelinesofcommunicationarealwaysopenbetweenyouandyouroffspringandtheywillbeabletounderstandthattheyarelovedandthattheiropinionisimportant.,

    CorrectingIndulgentParentingBehavior

    Ifyou’vebeenengaginginindulgentparentingandhavedecidedyoudon’twantthetypeoffutureoutlookitcanleadtoforyourchild,don’tdespair.Youcanstarttakingstepsnowtocorrectthisbehavior.Thestepsthemselvesaresimple,thoughyoumaystrugglewithenforcingthem.Justkeepwithitandunderstandthatitwillbeachangeforyouandyourchildandthatitwillhavelong-termbenefitsforthem.

    EstablishRules

    Thefirstthingyouneedtodoisestablishrulesforyourhome.Youcanstartwithjustafewbasicexpectationsandlimits.Whatisequallyimportanttohavingrulesismakingthemcleartoyourchild.,Ifyourchildrencanread,hangalistoftherulessomewheretheycanseeit.Oruseapicturelist.

    Somepossiblerulesthatwillbeeasyforthemtofolloware,brushyourteethafterdinner,cleanupyourroomeachweek,anddoyourhomework.Justbesuretoexplainwhytheyneedtodothesethings.Makesuretheyunderstandthereasonswhyitisimportanttofollowtheserules.

    Source:.com

    HaveClearConsequences

    Youshouldtrynottomakeupdisciplinaryactionsasyougo.Thesedon’tcreateastablesenseofconsequencesforbehaviorforyourchild.I stedet,makeitclearaheadoftimewhattheconsequenceswillbeforbreakingarule.,Foryoungchildren,timeoutsoftenwork.Forolderkids,losingcertainprivilegesforawhileisareasonabledisciplinaryaction.

    BeConsistent

    Youhavetofollowthroughwithrulesandconsequencesforyourchildtounderstandtheresultsoftheiractions.Youdonothavetobemean.Rememberthatbeingfirmdoesnotmeanyoudon’tloveyourchild.

    Youareprovidingstructurepreciselybecauseyoudolovethem,andyouwantthemtohaveagoodfuture.Youcanalsotalktoyourchildrenandhelpthemtounderstandtherules,andwhytheyareinplace.

    ProvideRewards

    Thebesthabitsareestablishedwithasystemofbothdisciplineandrewards.,Inadditiontocorrectingachildforbreakingarule,noticewhentheybehaveespeciallywell.Youcanprovidespecialprivilegesasarewardduringthesetimes.Avoidmaterialrewardslikecandyortoys.Onemethodistotakeawayscreentimeforbadbehaviorandrewardadditionalscreentimeforgoodbehavior.

    ParentingIsDifficultForEveryone

    Ifyouneedtoadjustyourparentingstyle,itcanbedifficult.Imidlertid,youmustdothisforyourchild’sfuture.Youwantthemtobewell-adjustedandknowtheirworth.Selvfølgelig,youdon’thavetogothroughthisfrustratingprocessalone.,Attimeswhenayoungchilddoesn’tunderstandnewrulesorwhytheyhavetodosomethingyoutellthemtodo,youmaywanttothrowinthetowel.Thereisnoreasonto!Youcanworkwithalicensedcounselor,whocanhelpyoualteryourparentingtechniques.Theywillbeabletoassistyouwhenitcomestosettingupfirmrules,figureouthowtocorrectlydisciplineyourkids,andprovidecopingstrategiesforthetryingtimes.

    Parentsandchildrencanbenefitfromcounselingbyalicensedprofessional.Theywillbeabletohelpyoupinpointissuesandfigureouthowtosolvethemtogether.Theymayalsohelpyoufixbehavioralorotherproblemsearly,beforetheyturnintosomethinglarge.,

    Imidlertid busyparentsmaynothavethetimetodrivetoanappointmentduringacounselor’sofficehours.Thisiswhereonlinecounselingserviceslikeregainoffersolutions.Youcangetthetherapyyouneedwheneverandwhereverisconvenientforyou(suchasthecomfortofyourownhome).BelowaresomereviewsofReGaincounselors,fromparentsexperiencingarangeofissues.

    CounselorReviews

    «Denaehasastrongbackgroundinchildpsychology.Wecametoherbecausewe’refiguringouthowtonavigateourfirstyearwithanewborntogether.,Sheunderstandscouplesdynamics,personalitystylesandisveryknowledgeableonsecureattachmentandhowtoraiseachildtofeelseen,understood,safeandheard.IHighlyrecommendthiscounselor.»

    «Jessicahasreallyhelpedustoworkthroughsomeverydifficulttimesafterlivingthroughtwocategory5hurricaneslastyearwithtwosmallchildreninourhousehold.Shehasdoneanexcellentjobofhelpingustoidentifyourownattachmentfearsandgivingusguidanceonhowtonavigatesomeincrediblytryingsituations.,»

    Konklusjon

    Parentingishardattimes;whetherweadmititornot,everyonestruggles.Whetheryouwanttochangeyourindulgentparentingbehaviororjustimproveyourskills,alicensedprofessionalhastheexpertisetohelpyougetthere.Nomatterwhatyouoryourchildrenareexperiencing,withtherighttoolsandhelp,youcanbuildaparentingstylethatprotectsyourchildren’shealthandfutureprosperity.Takethefirststep.

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