Af: Ashley Brown
Opdateret februar 11, 2020
Lægeligt Revideret Af: Karen Devlin, LPC
Doyoususpectyouorsomeoneyouknowmaybeengaginginindulgentparenting?Areyouworriedthatindulgentparentingmaybeharmfultoyourchildorsomeoneelse s?Det burde du være.
Ifyouarelikemanyparents,youprobablywonderwhatthebestwaytoparentyourchildrenis.Maybeyou’veevenwonderedifthereareknowntechniquesthatdoordon’tworkwhenitcomestoraisingwell-adjustedhumanbeings.,Thetruthisthattherearenearlyasmanyparentingstrategiesasthereareparents,andthere’sconflictingadviceonwhatworksbest.However,thereareafewestablishedcategoriesofparentingbehavior,andresearchhasshownthatsomestylesarebetterthanothers.
That’swhywe’veuncoveredallthelatestresearchaboutindulgentparenting,andwhatwediscoveredisthatit’soneoftheworstthingsyoucandoforyourchild.
overrasket?
Thenyoushouldreadontofindoutthedetailsofwhatindulgentparentingmeansandwhyit’sadangertochildren’sdevelopment.,
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Source:pexels.com
Whhatisindulgentparenting?
lad os starte med at tale om forældrestilarter.Parentingstyleisacategoryusedbypsychologiststoanalyzevariouswaysofraisingchildrenandtheresultsofthosemethods.,Thereareseveraldifferentstandardparentingstyles,whicharemostcommonlydividedintofourdifferentstyles.
Hverforældrestyleismadeupofasetofractices.Ifthemajorityofyourparentingpracticesfallintoaparticularstyle,thenyoucouldsaythatistheparentingstyleyouusemostoften.Youdon’tnecessarilyneedtofolloweverypracticeassociatedwithaparticularstyletoassociatewiththatparentingstyle.Selvfølgelig er hver forælder deres børn lidt forskellige fra andre.Derfor har disse stilarter og praksis mange variationer.,
Thefourcommonlynamedstylesare:
- Authoritarianparenting
- Authoritativeparenting
- Uninvolvedparenting
- Overbærende/permissiveparenting
Keepinmindthatevenifyouleantowardsonestyle,youmaynotalwaysactlikethatstyle.Parentscansometimesswitchbetweenstylesdependingonfactors,likehowtiredtheyare,ortheirtolerancelevelsforcertainbehaviors,aswellasotherfactors.
Kilde:exatmiseis.eu
PermissiveParenting
Indulgentparentingisalsoknownaspermissiveparenting.,Inthisparentingstyle,theparentrarelyenforcesanyrulesandtendstoletchildrenacthowevertheywant.Theseparentsoftenseemmorelikefriendswiththeirkids,ratherthanparents.
Indulgentparentsareoftenhighlyresponsivetotheirchildren,whichdistinguishesthemfromuninvolvedparents.It’snotthatindulgentparentsareignoringtheirchildren;theysimplyallowthemtogetawaywithalot.
Indulgentparentsprobablyfeellikereallygoodparents.Theylovetheirkidsandwantthemtobehappy.,Whattheymaynotrealizeisthattheirlowexpectationsfortheirkidstranslatetothekidsthemselves,resultinginchildren(andfutureadults)withlowexpectationsforthemselves.
Eksemplerfindulgentparenting
Farao,du har en generalideaofwhhatindulgentparentingentails.Herearesomespecificbehaviorsassociatedwithindulgentparenting.
ResultsOfIndulgentParenting
Manyissuesarisefromindulgentparentingbecausechildrenarenotpreparedtomakegooddecisionsforthemselves.De har brug for forældre til at overholde reglerne.Disse konsekvenser er ikke bare psykologiskeenten.Childrenofindulgentparentsaremorelikelytohaveaslewofhealthproblemsbecausetheparentsdonotenforcehygieneorhealthyhabits.,
retten
livet er sådan, at vi ikke altid får det, vi ønsker.Men indulgentparentswilltrytogivetheirchildrenalltheyneedorwant,thinkingtheyarebeingsupportive.Theproblemwiththisisitsetsupafalserealityforthechild,goingforwardinlife.Theyexpectthattheywillalwayshaveeveryneedandwantmet,withoutanyeffortontheirpart.
Youmaynotwantyourchildtosufferbyfeelingadesirethatgoesunfulfilled,butthisisanimportantlessonforlife.
Additionally,childrenwhoarepraisedtoooftenforminorachievementsfeelliketheydeservepraiseforverylittleeffort.,Thisresultsinadultswhoputintheminimaleffortandcomplainwhentheydon’tgettheresultstheywant.Theymayblameothersfortheirproblems,despiteputtingintheneededenergytosolvetheirproblems.
PoorImpulseControl
Youngchildrenarenotyetcapableofsettingboundariesonhowtheyusetheirtimeorhowmuchofafavoritethingtheyindulgein.Parentswhosetboundariesteachtheirchildrenself-discipline,sothatthechildcaneventuallymakegooddecisionsabouttimemanagementandlimitingthemselveswithbehaviors,likescreentimeoreatingjunkfood.,
Sincethesechildrenaregivennoexpectations,theyarealsomorelikelytoengageinriskybehaviors,includingunderagedrinkinganddruguse.Theyhavenofearoftheirparentsdiscipliningthemforsuchbehaviors.
Theyarealsomorelikelytohaveconductissuesatschool.Thereasonforthisisthelackofguidanceandstructureathome.Theyareunaccustomedtolisteningtoanadultinauthority.Thatmakesitdifficultforthemtofollowschoolrulesbecausetheybecomeresentfulofthesituationatschool.,
Withschoolbehaviors,inparticular,thechildmayseemlikeastudentwhoiseagertopleasemostofthetimeandonlyhasdisciplineissueswhenaparticularruleaggravatesthechild.That’stypicalbecausetheindulgentparentshavemadethechildaccustomedtobeingoftenpraised,andthechildwillseekthisbehaviorfromteachersandotheradults,behavingaslongasitisconvenient.
Thefurtherresultofthisisyourchildgrowingintoanadultwithcontinuedunhealthyhabitsandpoormotivationtodowellatworkorotherpriorities.Thiscanleadtoobesityandpoorhealth,aswellasapoorfinancialoutlook.,
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TheDifficultyWithADelayOfGratification
Relatedtoentitlementbehaviorisadifficultywithadelayofgratification.Delayinggratificationisanecessaryskill.It’srequiredforactivitieslikesavingmoneyforaparticularexpenseorstayinginshapebyfollowinggoodeatinghabitsandexercisingregularly.Youdonotgetafitbodyinstantly.Moreover,youcannotaffordeverythingwithoutsavingsometimes.,Whenyougeteverythingyouwantexactlywhenyouwantit,youdonotlearnthisskill,andyourqualityoflifesuffers.
ImpulsiveAngerAndFrustration
Thesechildrencanbecomeadultsthatareaggressiveandlackanormalamountofemotionalunderstandingwhendealingwithothers.Theyhaven’tlearnedtocontroltheiremotionsinproductivewaysbecausetheyareusedtogettingwhatevertheywant.Desværre,interactingwiththeadultworldrequirescompromisingwithothersandnotalwaysgettingyourway.Thatmakesadultrelationshipsandcareerachievementsdifficultforthem.,
DifficultyHandlingMoney
Inadditiontohavingahardtimesucceedingfinancially,childrenofindulgentparentsalsohaveahardtimeholdingontomoneyoncetheygetit.Theirimpulsivenessmakesthempronetospendingmoneyassoonastheyhaveany.Dette sætter dem op for de fremtidige finansielle vanskeligheder.
Alder-InappropriateReactions(LesserMaturityComparedToPeers)
Childrenwhoareentitledandgetwhattheywantallthetimearealsomorelikelytothrowtantrumsbeyondtheusualageforsuchbehavior.Theyarelikelytobelazierthanotherchildrentheirage,doingonlythethingsthatinterestthemratherthantakingresponsibilityforthethingstheyneedtodo.,Det er et spørgsmål om, hvordan det er svært at blive voksen.Weallhavemanyresponsibilitiesthatwedon’tnecessarilywanttodo,butmust.
på kort sigt,detteseninschoolworkork.Thechildrenofindulgentparentsaremorelikelytoprocrastinateonhomeworkandschoolprojects.Theydon’tfeellikedoingthework,sotheyputitoff,andtheirgradessuffer.
LowSelf Selvværd
Itmayseemlikechildrenwhoarelovedandgeteverythingtheywantshouldfeelgoodaboutthemselves.Whattendstohappenisthattheyneverdeveloptheskillstohandleproblems,andwhentheyreachanagewheretheyneedtodothingsontheirown,theyhavenoideahowto.,De har succes med internalmotivering.Theyendupanxiousandunabletomeetthedemandsofbeinganadult.De føler sig måske ikke forberedt.
Otherbørn,ved kontrast,har haft toororkthroughstrugles.De lærermotivationogselvbestemmelse.Det er præcis, hvad der opbyggerselvtillid.Thosechildrenlearnthattheyarecapableandcanovercomeobstacles.
sammenligning af andre Forældrestilarter
Her er der store problemer med at få forældre.Bynotcreatingandenforcingrules,youarenotteachingyourchildbasiccopingskills.Weallhavetofollowtherulesandaccepttheconsequencesofouractions.
andre forældre har forskellige resultater.,Authoritarianparentingalsodoesnotteachchildrentocopewithadulthood,butfordifferentreasons.Theauthoritarianparenthasstrictrules,tothepointthatchildrenneverlearntomakeanydecisionsforthemselves.Theirchildrenmayfearpunishment,buttheydonotlearntomakebetterchoicesfromtheirmistakes.Childrenmayevencopewiththeauthoritarianparentingstylebybecomingexcellentliarstoavoidpunishments.
Uninvolvedorneglectfulparentingiswhentheparentspaylittletonoattentiontothechild.Therearenorulesbecausetheparentisnotpayingattentiontowhatthekidisdoinganyway.,Unlikeindulgentparenting,thesechildrengetneitherrulesnorlovingattention.Theyareontheirowntonavigatechildhoodandlife.Thesechildrentendtohavelow-selvfølelse,pooracademicperformance,andareunhappy.
endelig er der en autoritativ forældremyndighed.Det her er ikke en autoritær forælder.Authoritativeparentingisthebeststyleforraisingwell-developed,happychildrenwithagoodsenseofboundaries.
Authoritativeparentsputeffortintocreatingalovingrelationshipwiththeirchildren,aswellasestablishingrulesandexpectations.Theyexplainthereasonsbehindtheirrulesratherthanjustexpectingobedience.,Theyallowtheirchildrentohaveopinions,buttheydon’tnecessarilygiveintotheirchildrenafterlisteningtotheirpointofview.
Someofthebenefitsofauthoritativeparentingarewell-adjustedkidsandalovingrelationshipbetweenyouandyourchildren.Thesebenefitshappenbecausethisparentingstyleiswellbalanced.Whileyoumaydisciplineyourkids,youcanalsoexplaintothemwhytheyarebeingdisciplined.Additionally,thelinesofcommunicationarealwaysopenbetweenyouandyouroffspringandtheywillbeabletounderstandthattheyarelovedandthattheiropinionisimportant.,
CorrectingIndulgentParentingBehavior
Ifyou’vebeenengaginginindulgentparentingandhavedecidedyoudon’twantthetypeoffutureoutlookitcanleadtoforyourchild,don’tdespair.Youcanstarttakingstepsnowtocorrectthisbehavior.Thestepsthemselvesaresimple,thoughyoumaystrugglewithenforcingthem.Justkeepwithitandunderstandthatitwillbeachangeforyouandyourchildandthatitwillhavelong-termbenefitsforthem.
EstablishRules
Thefirstthingyouneedtodoisestablishrulesforyourhome.Youcanstartwithjustafewbasicexpectationsandlimits.Whatisequallyimportanttohavingrulesismakingthemcleartoyourchild.,Ifyourchildrencanread,hangalistoftherulessomewheretheycanseeit.Eller brug billedliste.
Somepossiblerulesthatwillbeeasyforthemtofolloware,brushyourteethafterdinner,cleanupyourroomeachweek,anddoyourhomework.Justbesuretoexplainwhytheyneedtodothesethings.Makesuretheyunderstandthereasonswhyitisimportanttofollowtheserules.
Source:.com
HaveClearConsequences
Youshouldtrynottomakeupdisciplinaryactionsasyougo.Det skaber ikke en stabil konsekvens for dit barns adfærd.I stedet,makeitclearaheadoftimewhattheconsequenceswillbeforbreakingarule.,For unge børn, timeoutsofttenork.Forolderkids,losingcertainprivilegesforawhileisareasonabledisciplinaryaction.
BeConsistent
Youhavetofollowthroughwithrulesandconsequencesforyourchildtounderstandtheresultsoftheiractions.Du har ikke gjort noget.Rememberthatbeingfirmdoesnotmeanyoudon’tloveyourchild.
Youareprovidingstructurepreciselybecauseyoudolovethem,andyouwantthemtohaveagoodfuture.Youcanalsotalktoyourchildrenandhelpthemtounderstandtherules,andwhytheyareinplace.
ProvideRewards
Thebesthabitsareestablishedwithasystemofbothdisciplineandrewards.,Inadditiontocorrectingachildforbreakingarule,noticewhentheybehaveespeciallywell.Youcanprovidespecialprivilegesasarewardduringthesetimes.Undgåmaterialegevinster, der kan lide biler.Onemethodistotakeawayscreentimeforbadbehaviorandrewardadditionalscreentimeforgoodbehavior.
ParentingIsDifficultForEveryone
Ifyouneedtoadjustyourparentingstyle,itcanbedifficult.Du skal dog gøre det for dit barns fremtid.Youwantthemtobewell-adjustedandknowtheirworth.Selvfølgelig har du ikke været på vej gennem denne rystende proces alene.,Attimeswhenayoungchilddoesn’tunderstandnewrulesorwhytheyhavetodosomethingyoutellthemtodo,youmaywanttothrowinthetowel.Der er ingen konto!Youcanworkwithalicensedcounselor,whocanhelpyoualteryourparentingtechniques.Theywillbeabletoassistyouwhenitcomestosettingupfirmrules,figureouthowtocorrectlydisciplineyourkids,andprovidecopingstrategiesforthetryingtimes.
Parentsandchildrencanbenefitfromcounselingbyalicensedprofessional.Theywillbeabletohelpyoupinpointissuesandfigureouthowtosolvethemtogether.Theymayalsohelpyoufixbehavioralorotherproblemsearly,beforetheyturnintosomethinglarge.,
Men,busyparentsmaynothavethetimetodrivetoanappointmentduringacounselor’sofficehours.Thisiswhereonlinecounselingserviceslikeregainoffersolutions.Youcangetthetherapyyouneedwheneverandwhereverisconvenientforyou(suchasthecomfortofyourownhome).BelowaresomereviewsofReGaincounselors,fromparentsexperiencingarangeofissues.
Vejlederanmeldelser
“Denaehasastrongbackgroundinchildpsychology.Wecametoherbecausewe’refiguringouthowtonavigateourfirstyearwithanewborntogether.,Sheunderstandscouplesdynamics,personalitystylesandisveryknowledgeableonsecureattachmentandhowtoraiseachildtofeelseen,understood,safeandheard.Jeg anbefaler kraftigt, at der er tale om et medlem.”
“Jessicahasreallyhelpedustoworkthroughsomeverydifficulttimesafterlivingthroughtwocategory5hurricaneslastyearwithtwosmallchildreninourhousehold.Shehasdoneanexcellentjobofhelpingustoidentifyourownattachmentfearsandgivingusguidanceonhowtonavigatesomeincrediblytryingsituations.,”
Konklusion
Parentingishardattimes;whetherweadmititornot,everyonestruggles.Whetheryouwanttochangeyourindulgentparentingbehaviororjustimproveyourskills,alicensedprofessionalhastheexpertisetohelpyougetthere.Nomatterwhatyouoryourchildrenareexperiencing,withtherighttoolsandhelp,youcanbuildaparentingstylethatprotectsyourchildren’shealthandfutureprosperity.Tag det første skridt.