Madame Lelica

Av: Ashley Brown

Oppdatert februar 11, 2020

Medisinsk Vurdert Av: Karen Devlin, LPC

Doyoususpectyouorsomeoneyouknowmaybeengaginginindulgentparenting?Areyouworriedthatindulgentparentingmaybeharmfultoyourchildorsomeoneelse er?Youshouldbe.

Ifyouarelikemanyparents,youprobablywonderwhatthebestwaytoparentyourchildrenis.Maybeyou’veevenwonderedifthereareknowntechniquesthatdoordon’tworkwhenitcomestoraisingwell-adjustedhumanbeings.,Thetruthisthattherearenearlyasmanyparentingstrategiesasthereareparents,andthere’sconflictingadviceonwhatworksbest.However,thereareafewestablishedcategoriesofparentingbehavior,andresearchhasshownthatsomestylesarebetterthanothers.

That’swhywe’veuncoveredallthelatestresearchaboutindulgentparenting,andwhatwediscoveredisthatit’soneoftheworstthingsyoucandoforyourchild.

Overrasket?

Thenyoushouldreadontofindoutthedetailsofwhatindulgentparentingmeansandwhyit’sadangertochildren’sdevelopment.,

Dette nettstedet eies og drives av BetterHelp, som mottar alle avgifter knyttet til plattformen.

Source:pexels.com

WhatIsIndulgentParenting?

La’sstartwithtalkingaboutparentingstyles.Parentingstyleisacategoryusedbypsychologiststoanalyzevariouswaysofraisingchildrenandtheresultsofthosemethods.,Thereareseveraldifferentstandardparentingstyles,whicharemostcommonlydividedintofourdifferentstyles.

Eachparentingstyleismadeupofasetofpractices.Ifthemajorityofyourparentingpracticesfallintoaparticularstyle,thenyoucouldsaythatistheparentingstyleyouusemostoften.Youdon’tnecessarilyneedtofolloweverypracticeassociatedwithaparticularstyletoassociatewiththatparentingstyle.Selvfølgelig,eachparentraisestheirchildrenslightlydifferentfromothers.Derfor,thesestylesandpracticescanhavemanyvariations.,

Thefourcommonlynamedstylesare:

• Authoritarianparenting
• Authoritativeparenting
• Uninvolvedparenting
• Overbærende/permissiveparenting

Keepinmindthatevenifyouleantowardsonestyle,youmaynotalwaysactlikethatstyle.Parentscansometimesswitchbetweenstylesdependingonfactors,likehowtiredtheyare,ortheirtolerancelevelsforcertainbehaviors,aswellasotherfactors.

Kilde:exatmiseis.eu –

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PermissiveParenting

Indulgentparentingisalsoknownaspermissiveparenting.,Inthisparentingstyle,theparentrarelyenforcesanyrulesandtendstoletchildrenacthowevertheywant.Theseparentsoftenseemmorelikefriendswiththeirkids,ratherthanparents.

Indulgentparentsareoftenhighlyresponsivetotheirchildren,whichdistinguishesthemfromuninvolvedparents.It’snotthatindulgentparentsareignoringtheirchildren;theysimplyallowthemtogetawaywithalot.

Indulgentparentsprobablyfeellikereallygoodparents.Theylovetheirkidsandwantthemtobehappy.,Whattheymaynotrealizeisthattheirlowexpectationsfortheirkidstranslatetothekidsthemselves,resultinginchildren(andfutureadults)withlowexpectationsforthemselves.

ExamplesOfIndulgentParenting

Farao,youhaveageneralideaofwhatindulgentparentingentails.Herearesomespecificbehaviorsassociatedwithindulgentparenting.

sbehavior Nospecificrulesareestablishedforchildren’. Rulesareinconsistentandsituational,oronlyupheldwhentheparentistiredorsomeotherarbitraryreason.,

Theparentislovingandnurturingbutmayoverpraisethechild,makingitdifficultforthechildtounderstandwhichbehaviorsaregoodorexceedingexpectations. sfriend Theparentactsliketheirchild’. Parentsbribethechildwithgifts,leker,orfoodtogetthemtobehaveratherthanestablishingexpectations.

Thechildisgivenlittlestructureorschedule,lackingadailyroutineordailyexpectationsforage-appropriateresponsibilities.

Theparentsputthepriorityofgivingthechildfreedomoverteachingresponsibility.,

Theparentsasktheirchildrenforanopiniononmajordecisions,ratherthanhelpingthechildtocopewithdecisionsthataremadebytheadults.

Thechildrarelyfacesanyconsequencesenforcedbytheparents.

ResultsOfIndulgentParenting

Manyissuesarisefromindulgentparentingbecausechildrenarenotpreparedtomakegooddecisionsforthemselves.Theyneedparentstointerveneattimesandsetrules.Theseconsequencesarenotjustpsychologicaleither.Childrenofindulgentparentsaremorelikelytohaveaslewofhealthproblemsbecausetheparentsdonotenforcehygieneorhealthyhabits.,

Rett

Lifeissuchthatwedon’talwaysgetwhatwewant.Imidlertid,indulgentparentswilltrytogivetheirchildrenalltheyneedorwant,thinkingtheyarebeingsupportive.Theproblemwiththisisitsetsupafalserealityforthechild,goingforwardinlife.Theyexpectthattheywillalwayshaveeveryneedandwantmet,withoutanyeffortontheirpart.

Youmaynotwantyourchildtosufferbyfeelingadesirethatgoesunfulfilled,butthisisanimportantlessonforlife.

Additionally,childrenwhoarepraisedtoooftenforminorachievementsfeelliketheydeservepraiseforverylittleeffort.,Thisresultsinadultswhoputintheminimaleffortandcomplainwhentheydon’tgettheresultstheywant.Theymayblameothersfortheirproblems,despiteputtingintheneededenergytosolvetheirproblems.

PoorImpulseControl

Youngchildrenarenotyetcapableofsettingboundariesonhowtheyusetheirtimeorhowmuchofafavoritethingtheyindulgein.Parentswhosetboundariesteachtheirchildrenself-discipline,sothatthechildcaneventuallymakegooddecisionsabouttimemanagementandlimitingthemselveswithbehaviors,likescreentimeoreatingjunkfood.,

Sincethesechildrenaregivennoexpectations,theyarealsomorelikelytoengageinriskybehaviors,includingunderagedrinkinganddruguse.Theyhavenofearoftheirparentsdiscipliningthemforsuchbehaviors.

Theyarealsomorelikelytohaveconductissuesatschool.Thereasonforthisisthelackofguidanceandstructureathome.Theyareunaccustomedtolisteningtoanadultinauthority.Thatmakesitdifficultforthemtofollowschoolrulesbecausetheybecomeresentfulofthesituationatschool.,

Withschoolbehaviors,inparticular,thechildmayseemlikeastudentwhoiseagertopleasemostofthetimeandonlyhasdisciplineissueswhenaparticularruleaggravatesthechild.That’stypicalbecausetheindulgentparentshavemadethechildaccustomedtobeingoftenpraised,andthechildwillseekthisbehaviorfromteachersandotheradults,behavingaslongasitisconvenient.

Thefurtherresultofthisisyourchildgrowingintoanadultwithcontinuedunhealthyhabitsandpoormotivationtodowellatworkorotherpriorities.Thiscanleadtoobesityandpoorhealth,aswellasapoorfinancialoutlook.,

Source:pexels.com

TheDifficultyWithADelayOfGratification

Relatedtoentitlementbehaviorisadifficultywithadelayofgratification.Delayinggratificationisanecessaryskill.It’srequiredforactivitieslikesavingmoneyforaparticularexpenseorstayinginshapebyfollowinggoodeatinghabitsandexercisingregularly.Youdonotgetafitbodyinstantly.Moreover,youcannotaffordeverythingwithoutsavingsometimes.,Whenyougeteverythingyouwantexactlywhenyouwantit,youdonotlearnthisskill,andyourqualityoflifesuffers.

ImpulsiveAngerAndFrustration

Thesechildrencanbecomeadultsthatareaggressiveandlackanormalamountofemotionalunderstandingwhendealingwithothers.Theyhaven’tlearnedtocontroltheiremotionsinproductivewaysbecausetheyareusedtogettingwhatevertheywant.Dessverre,interactingwiththeadultworldrequirescompromisingwithothersandnotalwaysgettingyourway.Thatmakesadultrelationshipsandcareerachievementsdifficultforthem.,

DifficultyHandlingMoney

Inadditiontohavingahardtimesucceedingfinancially,childrenofindulgentparentsalsohaveahardtimeholdingontomoneyoncetheygetit.Theirimpulsivenessmakesthempronetospendingmoneyassoonastheyhaveany.Thissetsthemupforfuturefinancialdifficulties.

– Alder-InappropriateReactions(LesserMaturityComparedToPeers)

Childrenwhoareentitledandgetwhattheywantallthetimearealsomorelikelytothrowtantrumsbeyondtheusualageforsuchbehavior.Theyarelikelytobelazierthanotherchildrentheirage,doingonlythethingsthatinterestthemratherthantakingresponsibilityforthethingstheyneedtodo.,Det’seasytoseehowthiscausestroubleinadulthood.Weallhavemanyresponsibilitiesthatwedon’tnecessarilywanttodo,butmust.

Intheshort sikt,thisisseeninschoolwork.Thechildrenofindulgentparentsaremorelikelytoprocrastinateonhomeworkandschoolprojects.Theydon’tfeellikedoingthework,sotheyputitoff,andtheirgradessuffer.

LowSelf-Esteem

Itmayseemlikechildrenwhoarelovedandgeteverythingtheywantshouldfeelgoodaboutthemselves.Whattendstohappenisthattheyneverdeveloptheskillstohandleproblems,andwhentheyreachanagewheretheyneedtodothingsontheirown,theyhavenoideahowto.,Theyhavenointernalmotivationtosucceed.Theyendupanxiousandunabletomeetthedemandsofbeinganadult.Theymayevenfeelunprepared.

Otherchildren,bycontrast,havehadtoworkthroughstruggles.Theylearnmotivationandself-bestemmelse.Thisispreciselywhatbuildsself-tillit.Thosechildrenlearnthattheyarecapableandcanovercomeobstacles.

ComparingOtherParentingStyles

Her’sthebigproblemwithindulgentparenting.Bynotcreatingandenforcingrules,youarenotteachingyourchildbasiccopingskills.Weallhavetofollowtherulesandaccepttheconsequencesofouractions.

Otherparentingstyleshavedifferentresults.,Authoritarianparentingalsodoesnotteachchildrentocopewithadulthood,butfordifferentreasons.Theauthoritarianparenthasstrictrules,tothepointthatchildrenneverlearntomakeanydecisionsforthemselves.Theirchildrenmayfearpunishment,buttheydonotlearntomakebetterchoicesfromtheirmistakes.Childrenmayevencopewiththeauthoritarianparentingstylebybecomingexcellentliarstoavoidpunishments.

Uninvolvedorneglectfulparentingiswhentheparentspaylittletonoattentiontothechild.Therearenorulesbecausetheparentisnotpayingattentiontowhatthekidisdoinganyway.,Unlikeindulgentparenting,thesechildrengetneitherrulesnorlovingattention.Theyareontheirowntonavigatechildhoodandlife.Thesechildrentendtohavelow-selvfølelse,pooracademicperformance,andareunhappy.

til Slutt,thereisauthoritativeparenting.Thisisnotthesameasauthoritarianparenting.Authoritativeparentingisthebeststyleforraisingwell-developed,happychildrenwithagoodsenseofboundaries.

Authoritativeparentsputeffortintocreatingalovingrelationshipwiththeirchildren,aswellasestablishingrulesandexpectations.Theyexplainthereasonsbehindtheirrulesratherthanjustexpectingobedience.,Theyallowtheirchildrentohaveopinions,buttheydon’tnecessarilygiveintotheirchildrenafterlisteningtotheirpointofview.

Someofthebenefitsofauthoritativeparentingarewell-adjustedkidsandalovingrelationshipbetweenyouandyourchildren.Thesebenefitshappenbecausethisparentingstyleiswellbalanced.Whileyoumaydisciplineyourkids,youcanalsoexplaintothemwhytheyarebeingdisciplined.Additionally,thelinesofcommunicationarealwaysopenbetweenyouandyouroffspringandtheywillbeabletounderstandthattheyarelovedandthattheiropinionisimportant.,

CorrectingIndulgentParentingBehavior

Ifyou’vebeenengaginginindulgentparentingandhavedecidedyoudon’twantthetypeoffutureoutlookitcanleadtoforyourchild,don’tdespair.Youcanstarttakingstepsnowtocorrectthisbehavior.Thestepsthemselvesaresimple,thoughyoumaystrugglewithenforcingthem.Justkeepwithitandunderstandthatitwillbeachangeforyouandyourchildandthatitwillhavelong-termbenefitsforthem.

EstablishRules

Thefirstthingyouneedtodoisestablishrulesforyourhome.Youcanstartwithjustafewbasicexpectationsandlimits.Whatisequallyimportanttohavingrulesismakingthemcleartoyourchild.,Ifyourchildrencanread,hangalistoftherulessomewheretheycanseeit.Oruseapicturelist.

Somepossiblerulesthatwillbeeasyforthemtofolloware,brushyourteethafterdinner,cleanupyourroomeachweek,anddoyourhomework.Justbesuretoexplainwhytheyneedtodothesethings.Makesuretheyunderstandthereasonswhyitisimportanttofollowtheserules.

Source:.com

HaveClearConsequences

Youshouldtrynottomakeupdisciplinaryactionsasyougo.Thesedon’tcreateastablesenseofconsequencesforbehaviorforyourchild.I stedet,makeitclearaheadoftimewhattheconsequenceswillbeforbreakingarule.,Foryoungchildren,timeoutsoftenwork.Forolderkids,losingcertainprivilegesforawhileisareasonabledisciplinaryaction.

BeConsistent

Youhavetofollowthroughwithrulesandconsequencesforyourchildtounderstandtheresultsoftheiractions.Youdonothavetobemean.Rememberthatbeingfirmdoesnotmeanyoudon’tloveyourchild.

Youareprovidingstructurepreciselybecauseyoudolovethem,andyouwantthemtohaveagoodfuture.Youcanalsotalktoyourchildrenandhelpthemtounderstandtherules,andwhytheyareinplace.

ProvideRewards

Thebesthabitsareestablishedwithasystemofbothdisciplineandrewards.,Inadditiontocorrectingachildforbreakingarule,noticewhentheybehaveespeciallywell.Youcanprovidespecialprivilegesasarewardduringthesetimes.Avoidmaterialrewardslikecandyortoys.Onemethodistotakeawayscreentimeforbadbehaviorandrewardadditionalscreentimeforgoodbehavior.

ParentingIsDifficultForEveryone

Ifyouneedtoadjustyourparentingstyle,itcanbedifficult.Imidlertid,youmustdothisforyourchild’sfuture.Youwantthemtobewell-adjustedandknowtheirworth.Selvfølgelig,youdon’thavetogothroughthisfrustratingprocessalone.,Attimeswhenayoungchilddoesn’tunderstandnewrulesorwhytheyhavetodosomethingyoutellthemtodo,youmaywanttothrowinthetowel.Thereisnoreasonto!Youcanworkwithalicensedcounselor,whocanhelpyoualteryourparentingtechniques.Theywillbeabletoassistyouwhenitcomestosettingupfirmrules,figureouthowtocorrectlydisciplineyourkids,andprovidecopingstrategiesforthetryingtimes.

Parentsandchildrencanbenefitfromcounselingbyalicensedprofessional.Theywillbeabletohelpyoupinpointissuesandfigureouthowtosolvethemtogether.Theymayalsohelpyoufixbehavioralorotherproblemsearly,beforetheyturnintosomethinglarge.,

Imidlertid busyparentsmaynothavethetimetodrivetoanappointmentduringacounselor’sofficehours.Thisiswhereonlinecounselingserviceslikeregainoffersolutions.Youcangetthetherapyyouneedwheneverandwhereverisconvenientforyou(suchasthecomfortofyourownhome).BelowaresomereviewsofReGaincounselors,fromparentsexperiencingarangeofissues.

CounselorReviews

«Denaehasastrongbackgroundinchildpsychology.Wecametoherbecausewe’refiguringouthowtonavigateourfirstyearwithanewborntogether.,Sheunderstandscouplesdynamics,personalitystylesandisveryknowledgeableonsecureattachmentandhowtoraiseachildtofeelseen,understood,safeandheard.IHighlyrecommendthiscounselor.»

«Jessicahasreallyhelpedustoworkthroughsomeverydifficulttimesafterlivingthroughtwocategory5hurricaneslastyearwithtwosmallchildreninourhousehold.Shehasdoneanexcellentjobofhelpingustoidentifyourownattachmentfearsandgivingusguidanceonhowtonavigatesomeincrediblytryingsituations.,»

Konklusjon

Parentingishardattimes;whetherweadmititornot,everyonestruggles.Whetheryouwanttochangeyourindulgentparentingbehaviororjustimproveyourskills,alicensedprofessionalhastheexpertisetohelpyougetthere.Nomatterwhatyouoryourchildrenareexperiencing,withtherighttoolsandhelp,youcanbuildaparentingstylethatprotectsyourchildren’shealthandfutureprosperity.Takethefirststep.