par: Ashley Brown
mis à jour le 11 février 2020
médicalement examiné par: Karen Devlin, LPC
Doyoususpectyouorsomeoneyouknowmaybeengaginginindulgentparenting?Areyouworriedthatindulgentparentingmaybeharmfultoyourchildorsomeoneelse de l’?Youshouldbe.
Ifyouarelikemanyparents,youprobablywonderwhatthebestwaytoparentyourchildrenis.Maybeyou’veevenwonderedifthereareknowntechniquesthatdoordon’tworkwhenitcomestoraisingwell-adjustedhumanbeings.,Thetruthisthattherearenearlyasmanyparentingstrategiesasthereareparents,andthere’sconflictingadviceonwhatworksbest.However,thereareafewestablishedcategoriesofparentingbehavior,andresearchhasshownthatsomestylesarebetterthanothers.
That’swhywe’veuncoveredallthelatestresearchaboutindulgentparenting,andwhatwediscoveredisthatit’soneoftheworstthingsyoucandoforyourchild.
surpris?
Thenyoushouldreadontofindoutthedetailsofwhatindulgentparentingmeansandwhyit’sadangertochildren’sdevelopment.,
un thérapeute certifié peut vous aider. Parlez à un expert parental en ligne maintenant.
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Source:pexels.com
Qu’est-ce qui est Indulgentparent?
commençons à parler des styles de parentage.Parentingstyleisacategoryusedbypsychologiststoanalyzevariouswaysofraisingchildrenandtheresultsofthosemethods.,Thereareseveraldifferentstandardparentingstyles,whicharemostcommonlydividedintofourdifferentstyles.
Eachparentingstyleismadeupofasetofpractices.Ifthemajorityofyourparentingpracticesfallintoaparticularstyle,thenyoucouldsaythatistheparentingstyleyouusemostoften.Youdon’tnecessarilyneedtofolloweverypracticeassociatedwithaparticularstyletoassociatewiththatparentingstyle.Bien sûr,eachparentraisestheirchildrenslightlydifferentfromothers.Par conséquent,thesestylesandpracticescanhavemanyvariations.,
Thefourcommonlynamedstylesare:
- Authoritarianparenting
- Authoritativeparenting
- Uninvolvedparenting
- Indulgent/permissiveparenting
Keepinmindthatevenifyouleantowardsonestyle,youmaynotalwaysactlikethatstyle.Parentscansometimesswitchbetweenstylesdependingonfactors,likehowtiredtheyare,ortheirtolerancelevelsforcertainbehaviors,aswellasotherfactors.
Source:exatmiseis.l’ue
PermissiveParenting
Indulgentparentingisalsoknownaspermissiveparenting.,Inthisparentingstyle,theparentrarelyenforcesanyrulesandtendstoletchildrenacthowevertheywant.Theseparentsoftenseemmorelikefriendswiththeirkids,ratherthanparents.
Indulgentparentsareoftenhighlyresponsivetotheirchildren,whichdistinguishesthemfromuninvolvedparents.It’snotthatindulgentparentsareignoringtheirchildren;theysimplyallowthemtogetawaywithalot.
Indulgentparentsprobably Feellikereallygoodparents.Theylovetheirkidsandwantthemtobehappy.,Whattheymaynotrealizeisthattheirlowexpectationsfortheirkidstranslatetothekidsthemselves,resultinginchildren(andfutureadults)withlowexpectationsforthemselves.
examples of Indulgentparenting
Pharaon,youhaveageneralideaofwhatindulgentparentingentails.Herearesomespecificbehaviorsassociatedwithindulgentparenting.
ResultsOfIndulgentParenting
Manyissuesarisefromindulgentparentingbecausechildrenarenotpreparedtomakegooddecisionsforthemselves.Theyneedparentstointerveneattimesandsetrules.Theseconsequencesarenotjustpsychologicaleither.Childrenofindulgentparentsaremorelikelytohaveaslewofhealthproblemsbecausetheparentsdonotenforcehygieneorhealthyhabits.,
droit
La Vie N’est pas toujours ce que nous voulons.Cependant,indulgentparentswilltrytogivetheirchildrenalltheyneedorwant,thinkingtheyarebeingsupportive.Theproblemwiththisisitsetsupafalserealityforthechild,goingforwardinlife.Theyexpectthattheywillalwayshaveeveryneedandwantmet,withoutanyeffortontheirpart.
Youmaynotwantyourchildtosufferbyfeelingadesirethatgoesunfulfilled,butthisisanimportantlessonforlife.
Additionally,childrenwhoarepraisedtoooftenforminorachievementsfeelliketheydeservepraiseforverylittleeffort.,Thisresultsinadultswhoputintheminimaleffortandcomplainwhentheydon’tgettheresultstheywant.Theymayblameothersfortheirproblems,despiteputtingintheneededenergytosolvetheirproblems.
PoorImpulseControl
Youngchildrenarenotyetcapableofsettingboundariesonhowtheyusetheirtimeorhowmuchofafavoritethingtheyindulgein.Parentswhosetboundariesteachtheirchildrenself-discipline,sothatthechildcaneventuallymakegooddecisionsabouttimemanagementandlimitingthemselveswithbehaviors,likescreentimeoreatingjunkfood.,
Sincethesechildrenaregivennoexpectations,theyarealsomorelikelytoengageinriskybehaviors,includingunderagedrinkinganddruguse.Theyhavenofearoftheirparentsdiscipliningthemforsuchbehaviors.
Theyarealsomorelikelytohaveconductissuesatschool.Thereasonforthisisthelackofguidanceandstructureathome.Theyareunaccustomedtolisteningtoanadultinauthority.Thatmakesitdifficultforthemtofollowschoolrulesbecausetheybecomeresentfulofthesituationatschool.,
Withschoolbehaviors,inparticular,thechildmayseemlikeastudentwhoiseagertopleasemostofthetimeandonlyhasdisciplineissueswhenaparticularruleaggravatesthechild.That’stypicalbecausetheindulgentparentshavemadethechildaccustomedtobeingoftenpraised,andthechildwillseekthisbehaviorfromteachersandotheradults,behavingaslongasitisconvenient.
Thefurtherresultofthisisyourchildgrowingintoanadultwithcontinuedunhealthyhabitsandpoormotivationtodowellatworkorotherpriorities.Thiscanleadtoobesityandpoorhealth,aswellasapoorfinancialoutlook.,
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Source:pexels.com
la diversité avec la complexité de la gratification
Relatedtoentitlementbehaviorisadifficultywithadelayofgratification.Delayinggratificationisanecessaryskill.It’srequiredforactivitieslikesavingmoneyforaparticularexpenseorstayinginshapebyfollowinggoodeatinghabitsandexercisingregularly.Youdonotgetafitbodyinstantly.Moreover,youcannotaffordeverythingwithoutsavingsometimes.,Whenyougeteverythingyouwantexactlywhenyouwantit,youdonotlearnthisskill,andyourqualityoflifesuffers.
ImpulsiveAngerAndFrustration
Thesechildrencanbecomeadultsthatareaggressiveandlackanormalamountofemotionalunderstandingwhendealingwithothers.Theyhaven’tlearnedtocontroltheiremotionsinproductivewaysbecausetheyareusedtogettingwhatevertheywant.Malheureusement,interactingwiththeadultworldrequirescompromisingwithothersandnotalwaysgettingyourway.Thatmakesadultrelationshipsandcareerachievementsdifficultforthem.,
DifficultyHandlingMoney
Inadditiontohavingahardtimesucceedingfinancially,childrenofindulgentparentsalsohaveahardtimeholdingontomoneyoncetheygetit.Theirimpulsivenessmakesthempronetospendingmoneyassoonastheyhaveany.Thissetsthemupforfuturefinancialdifficulties.
L’âge-Impropreeactions(LesserMaturityComparedToPeers)
Childrenwhoareentitledandgetwhattheywantallthetimearealsomorelikelytothrowtantrumsbeyondtheusualageforsuchbehavior.Theyarelikelytobelazierthanotherchildrentheirage,doingonlythethingsthatinterestthemratherthantakingresponsibilityforthethingstheyneedtodo.,Il’seasytoseehowthiscausestroubleinadulthood.Weallhavemanyresponsibilitiesthatwedon’tnecessarilywanttodo,butmust.
À court terme,c’est un travail scolaire.Thechildrenofindulgentparentsaremorelikelytoprocrastinateonhomeworkandschoolprojects.Theydon’tfeellikedoingthework,sotheyputitoff,andtheirgradessuffer.
LowSelf Estime de soi
Itmayseemlikechildrenwhoarelovedandgeteverythingtheywantshouldfeelgoodaboutthemselves.Whattendstohappenisthattheyneverdeveloptheskillstohandleproblems,andwhentheyreachanagewheretheyneedtodothingsontheirown,theyhavenoideahowto.,Theyhavenointernalmotivationtosucceed.Theyendupanxiousandunabletomeetthedemandsofbeinganadult.Theymayevenfeelunprepared.
Otherchildren,bycontrast,havehadtoworkthroughstruggles.Theylearnmotivationandself-détermination.Thisispreciselywhatbuildsself confiance.Thosechildrenlearnthattheyarecapableandcanovercomeobstacles.
ComparingOtherParentingStyles
Ici’sthebigproblemwithindulgentparenting.Bynotcreatingandenforcingrules,youarenotteachingyourchildbasiccopingskills.Weallhavetofollowtherulesandaccepttheconsequencesofouractions.
D’Autresparentingstyleshavedifferentresults.,Autoritaireparentingalsodoesnotteachenfantocopewithadulthood, butfordifferentreasons.Theauthoritarianparenthasstrictrules,tothepointthatchildrenneverlearntomakeanydecisionsforthemselves.Theirchildrenmayfearpunishment,buttheydonotlearntomakebetterchoicesfromtheirmistakes.Les enfantsmaiventavecl’autoritaireparentantstylebecomingexcellentliarstoavoidpunitions.
Uninvolvedorneglectfulparentingiswhentheparentspaylittletonoattentiontothechild.Therearenorulesbecausetheparentisnotpayingattentiontowhatthekidisdoinganyway.,Unlikeindulgentparenting,thesechildrengetneitherrulesnorlovingattention.Theyareontheirowntonavigatechildhoodandlife.Thesechildrentendtohavelow-estime de soi,l’pooracademicperformance,andareunhappy.
Enfin,thereisauthoritativeparenting.Thisisnotthesameasauthoritarianparenting.Authoritativeparentingisthebeststyleforraisingwell-developed,happychildrenwithagoodsenseofboundaries.
Authoritativeparentsputeffortintocreatingalovingrelationshipwiththeirchildren,aswellasestablishingrulesandexpectations.Theyexplainthereasonsbehindtheirrulesratherthanjustexpectingobedience.,Theyallowtheirchildrentohaveopinions,buttheydon’tnecessarilygiveintotheirchildrenafterlisteningtotheirpointofview.
Someofthebenefitsofauthoritativeparentingarewell-adjustedkidsandalovingrelationshipbetweenyouandyourchildren.Thesebenefitshappenbecausethisparentingstyleiswellbalanced.Whileyoumaydisciplineyourkids,youcanalsoexplaintothemwhytheyarebeingdisciplined.Additionally,thelinesofcommunicationarealwaysopenbetweenyouandyouroffspringandtheywillbeabletounderstandthattheyarelovedandthattheiropinionisimportant.,
Correctingentparentingbavior
Ifyou’vebeenengaginginindulgentparentingandhavedecidedyoudon’twantthetypeoffutureoutlookitcanleadtoforyourchild,don’tdespair.Youcanstarttakingstepsnowtocorrectthisbehavior.Thestepsthemselvesaresimple,thoughyoumaystrugglewithenforcingthem.Justkeepwithitandunderstandthatitwillbeachangeforyouandyourchildandthatitwillhavelong-termbenefitsforthem.
EstablishRules
Thefirstthingyouneedtodoisestablishrulesforyourhome.Youcanstartwithjustafewbasicexpectationsandlimits.Whatisequallyimportanttohavingrulesismakingthemcleartoyourchild.,Ifyourchildrencanread,hangalistoftherulessomewheretheycanseeit.Oruseapicturelist.
Somepossiblerulesthatwillbeeasyforthemtofolloware,brushyourteethafterdinner,cleanupyourroomeachweek,anddoyourhomework.Justbesuretoexplainwhytheyneedtodothesethings.Makesuretheyunderstandthereasonswhyitisimportanttofollowtheserules.
Source:.com
avoir des consequences de lecture
Vous Deveztrynottomakeupdisciplinaryactionsasyougo.Thesedon’tcreateastablesenseofconsequencesforbehaviorforyourchild.Au lieu de cela,makeitclearaheadoftimewhattheconsequenceswillbeforbreakingarule.,Foryoungchildren,timeoutsoftenwork.Forolderkids,losingcertainprivilegesforawhileisareasonabledisciplinaryaction.
BeConsistent
Youhavetofollowthroughwithrulesandconsequencesforyourchildtounderstandtheresultsoftheiractions.Youdonothavetobemean.Rememberthatbeingfirmdoesnotmeanyoudon’tloveyourchild.
Youareprovidingstructurepreciselybecauseyoudolovethem,andyouwantthemtohaveagoodfuture.Youcanalsotalktoyourchildrenandhelpthemtounderstandtherules,andwhytheyareinplace.
ProvideRewards
Thebesthabitsareestablishedwithasystemofbothdisciplineandrewards.,Inadditiontocorrectingachildforbreakingarule,noticewhentheybehaveespeciallywell.Vous pouvezfournir des privilèges spéciauxsontvoyésdurantsfois.Avoidmaterialrewardslikecandyortoys.Onemethodistotakeawayscreentimeforbadbehaviorandrewardadditionalscreentimeforgoodbehavior.
ParentingIsDifficultForEveryone
Ifyouneedtoadjustyourparentingstyle,itcanbedifficult.Cependant,youmustdothisforyourchild’sfuture.Youwantthemtobewell-adjustedandknowtheirworth.Bien sûr,youdon’thavetogothroughthisfrustratingprocessalone.,Attimeswhenayoungchilddoesn’tunderstandnewrulesorwhytheyhavetodosomethingyoutellthemtodo,youmaywanttothrowinthetowel.Thereisnoreasonto!Youcanworkwithalicensedcounselor,whocanhelpyoualteryourparentingtechniques.Theywillbeabletoassistyouwhenitcomestosettingupfirmrules,figureouthowtocorrectlydisciplineyourkids,andprovidecopingstrategiesforthetryingtimes.
Parentsandchildrencanbenefitfromcounselingbyalicensedprofessional.Theywillbeabletohelpyoupinpointissuesandfigureouthowtosolvethemtogether.Theymayalsohelpyoufixbehavioralorotherproblemsearly,beforetheyturnintosomethinglarge.,
Cependant,busyparentsmaynothavethetimetodrivetoanappointmentduringacounselor’sofficehours.Thisiswhereonlinecounselingserviceslikeregainoffersolutions.Youcangetthetherapyyouneedwheneverandwhereverisconvenientforyou(suchasthecomfortofyourownhome).BelowaresomereviewsofReGaincounselors,fromparentsexperiencingarangeofissues.
CounselorReviews
« Denaehasastrongbackgroundinchildpsychology.Wecametoherbecausewe’refiguringouthowtonavigateourfirstyearwithanewborntogether.,Sheunderstandscouplesdynamics,personalitystylesandisveryknowledgeableonsecureattachmentandhowtoraiseachildtofeelseen,understood,safeandheard.IHighlyrecommendthiscounselor. »
« Jessicahasreallyhelpedustoworkthroughsomeverydifficulttimesafterlivingthroughtwocategory5hurricaneslastyearwithtwosmallchildreninourhousehold.Shehasdoneanexcellentjobofhelpingustoidentifyourownattachmentfearsandgivingusguidanceonhowtonavigatesomeincrediblytryingsituations., »
Conclusion
Parentingishardattimes;whetherweadmititornot,everyonestruggles.Whetheryouwanttochangeyourindulgentparentingbehaviororjustimproveyourskills,alicensedprofessionalhastheexpertisetohelpyougetthere.Nomatterwhatyouoryourchildrenareexperiencing,withtherighttoolsandhelp,youcanbuildaparentingstylethatprotectsyourchildren’shealthandfutureprosperity.Takethefirststep.